Dear Diary....

Is anyone else out there a lifelong journal keeper? I received my very first diary when I was in third grade (this is not a photo of my diary--my first one had a cat on it and came with a little gold lock and key) and I have been writing in my "dear diary" ever since. I still have that very first little diary, filled with grade school doodles and the angst of everything that comes with that time in life....names of people that I do not remember who were so important in that moment, events that have had lasting impacts on my life, and of course, pics of Rob Lowe, Michael Jackson and Ralph Macchio torn from the pages of BOP, Teen Beat and Tiger Beat.
In high school, the diary transitioned to a journal. I still have all of my high school journals, college journals, study abroad journal, and my "real-life" journal that I still write in religiously today--all chronicling my life and times...small moments, big events...bad days, good days...loves lost and found...tears of joy...tears of anger...tears of sadness...lots of laughter...all in there. A pressed flower picked while climbing Salisbury Hill evokes the memory of listening to Peter Gabriel singing the song that made the hill famous while climbing up with Liz and Sue, pictures from Christmas formals with the first boy who really broke my heart (and thank god he did!), stress associated with finals, graduation, moving to Boston, my first job, having the time of my life in Boston, getting married!!! getting married!!! getting married!!!...wanting a baby...trying to have a baby, not having a baby, not having a baby, not having a baby...the whole heart wrenching ordeal and finally, the joy of having BABIES!!! The fear and sadness of having those babies too soon...the stress and guilt of having micro-preemie babies...the pain and pride of watching them struggle and fight for their tiny lives...the cautious joy of finally welcoming them home and the excitement of watching them grow. Discovering #3was on its way so soon! A GIRL! The chaos and the fun of life with three little ones... and generally, all that comes with life in its full expression. Lessons learned, lives lost, loves gained....all this and more detailed in the moment. Reflective. Restorative.
As I am the person to always put things in writing, it was only natural that when I did have my children, that I started this tradition for them (whether they like it or not!). From day one, for each of my children, I have kept a journal for them, writing down their first moments, first milestones, cute sayings, challenging days and amazing accomplishments--it is my love story to them. To be completely honest, I started the boys' journals as therapy for myself when they were in the NICU...it was a way for me to celebrate their lives, to document their days, and honestly, at the time, I was not sure if they were going to make it, so it was a way for me to ensure that I would always have them, those delicate memories from those delicate first days. I cherish these journals to my children and hope that one day they will understand what a gift this is to them and how the words are filled with heart, soul gratitude and hope.
I have also started having each of them keep a journal. This project began as a writing exercise, but really has turned into so much more! Each week, they write down a few sentences about something that they enjoyed doing the previous week, or something that they are looking forward to. At this point, there is a lot about video games, fun with uncles,aunts and cousins, snow and Champ. I know they will have fun reading these one day because I laugh a lot when they are writing them (not at them, of course!) Little frozen snip-its of time.

Things I Like....my dear diaries....